A lot of the visitors who tour Italy, from non-European countries, really don’t come prepared. I decided therefore to add this new page to my website. A page where I want to write my anecdotes hoping they could help the average tourist, and especially those coming from overseas, to enjoy Italy more. My wish is that visiting my website to see what tours I offer, one could be intrigued by a button saying “anecdotes” and click it.

If you did, my beloved tourist, click on the buttons of this page read my anecdotes. Please click and read!

Today everybody's always in such a hurry that they can’t take the time to read about a country before visiting it. They just go. "We travel to learn, so we’ll learn when we get there!" They say. Who, these days, would have the time to go to a library, borrow books about Italy and read them before coming here? And those visiting more than just one country? Take cruisers for example; they’re practically in a different country every day! How in the world can they be  expected to find the time to study about the ten different countries they’ll be visiting during their ten-day cruise? So, most people just hop on a plane and go, without even taking a look at a map to see where they’re going before they go. After all, think of all the things one has to do before leaving for a vacation: book the flights, hotels, ground transportation, instruct the person that will be taking care of the business during the absence, find someone to go to the house to feed

Fido, someone to keep Pussycat, etcetera etcetera… No time to read travel books or look at maps. They're going to to do a tour with a guide at each place, so why bother? They'll ask their guide and he'll tell them!

One question I was asked recently and that almost made me pass out is the following:“ Did the Tsunami do a lot of damage here in Italy?” Maybe if they just took a map of Europe to the bathroom with them instead of sports page of the local paper…

I thought that if my clients could learn from my website things like: "Why do you get pizza with capsicums when you order “pizza-with-peperoni” in Italy?", then I wouldn’t have to explain it during the tour and we could make a better use of our touring time.

paolo@drivinguide.com

She really couldn't see why it was so difficult for the waiter to understand what she wanted, after all "Latte" is an Italian word! "No" she said accompanying the word with gestures, "No-cold" pronounced distinctly "No-cold, latte-no-cold, latte HOT!" "Ahhh! HOT!" the waiter said. Finally he heard an English word he knew. "Latte no-cold, latte HOT! OK! Subito! (right away)" Seconds later he returned with the same glass of milk which he had wormed up. She was ready to scream and she did: "COFFEE!" "Coffee?" The waiter asked smiling because "coffee" was another one of the few English words he knew "No milk? Coffee?" "Yes," she shouted "NO-MILK! COFFEE!" The waiter took the glass of milk from the table and walked away. Two minutes later he returned with this tiny little cup filled by one third of thick stuff that looked like mud.

Just a few steps away my friend Guido was opening up his "shop". He sells paintings right on the square. He sells paintings he does himself and paintings done by others. He has a license to sell on the square, a license which is hard to get and he's lucky to have. For what I know he still has all the pictures he painted and he makes his money from selling the good

ones made by the real painters who don't have the license they're required to have to sell them in public spaces. Guido likes women. We call him "Centipede" because a girl he dated once called him that. She said he was all over her that night, like if he had many more than just two arms and legs. She felt like if she had one hundred limbs on her, like a centipede in fact. Guido speaks good English and has girl-friends in all of the English speaking countries, including New Zealand.

He noticed that girl sitting there just as he arrived and while he was unpacking his stuff he was thinking of an excuse to go over to her table and talk to her. When he heard her shout at the waiter it was like music to his ears, it was obvious she was in distress and she couldn't make herself understood. "Can I help you?" he said once he'd come close enough. She explained what the trouble was and Guido, while he told the waiter to bring the lady a "Caffellatte" and an espresso for himself, sat down next to her and explained that what he just said "Caffellatte" was what she really wanted. "Caffellatte?" she asked. "Yes" Guido

said and then continued "in case you want more coffee and less milk in your drink you can ask for Cappuccino". In the meantime Guido was keeping an eye on his Moroccan employee who wasn't happy to do all the work of unpacking and displaying the paintings alone while his boss was having coffee with a beautiful lady. Guido took his time and explained further: "Coffee shops in America, like Starbucks, have "Caffé Latte" on their menu and that is wrong, the real name of the drink is "Caffellatte", all together in one word.. In America, and in all of the English speaking countries in general, people like to shorten names, so that's why "cafféllatte" became "latte". It obviously had coffee in it, so why bother pronouncing the word for coffee in a foreign language? In America it works. ... in America!

Guido explained: "Caffellatte" obviously means coffeemilk the name is a combination of caffé (coffee) and latte (milk) so if you only say "latte" you ask for milk, and milk is what you get!

The lady loved her caffellatte and asked for another one.

Guido loved the lady and asked for more coffee.