*ADVISORY*ADVISORY*ADVISORY*ADVISORY*ADVISORY*ADVISORY*
 ____  _   _ __  __  ___                  
|  _ \| | | |  \/  |/ _ \  ___  _ __ __ _ 
| | | | |_| | |\/| | | | |/ _ \| '__/ _` |
| |_| |  _  | |  | | |_| | (_) | | | (_| |
|____/|_| |_|_|  |_|\___(_)___/|_|  \__, |
                                    |___/ 

Title:     Anhydrous DHMO Research
Date:      20 July 2000
Reporting: Director of Research
Location:  DHMO.org
URL:       http://www.dhmo.org/alerts/advisory072000
-------------------------------------------------------

Anhydrous DHMO Research

From time to time DHMO.org receives a request from a
researcher in search of funding.  Since DHMO.org does
not directly fund individual research, we normally
cannot help.  Recently we were contacted by a
researcher interested in developing protocols to study
and collect Anhydrous Dihydrogen Monoxide (ADM), and
to explore its possible uses.  We felt his research
goals where honorable, and so we include here his
request for funding support.

- Tom Way, Director of Research, DHMO.org

----------

Dear Director:

I am a retired environmental research scientist.  My
expertise is in Bovine Scatology, making me painfully
aware of the hazards of DHMO.  I have been working on
this problem for many years.  I am near a breakthrough
in my development of Anhydrous Dihydrogen Monoxide.  
Although ADM, in name, has all the properties of DHMO,
it possesses none of the disastrous properties. My
research has discovered that it is the H2O trapped
within the interior of the DHMO molecule that causes
this compound to have it's detrimental
characteristics.  Any chemist will be painfully aware
of the difficulty separating the H2O from the DHMO.  
It is this task that occupies all my time and
resources.

You can only imagine the problems I have faced in this
endeavor. I have built a 2,500 square foot laboratory
on the back of my house and equipped it with the basic
chemical research tools.  However the research is
going into an unfortunate direction and the basics are
no longer adequate.  I am in desperate need of a pair
of 100 cubic foot pressure vessels capable of 4,000
psi and 250 degrees centigrade.  I also need a 400,000
Btu natural gas evaporator also rated at the same
pressure.  I have made appeals to various industries
for help, but the mere mention of the project turns
the cold shoulder.  Even though ADM is very plentiful
in space, NASA says it is not cost effective to bring
ADM to Earth with the space shuttle.

It now looks like there is a conspiracy to prevent the
development of ADM.  There are too many manufactures
and public utilities that would be effected if ADM
were to replace DHMO.  Though they realize that
countless lives and millions of dollars of property
would be saved, they only have their profit in mind.  
That leaves it up to people like you and me to
campaign and develop a cost effective method for
producing ADM here in the presence of Earth's
atmosphere.

Once I have secured and installed the new laboratory
equipment, I intend to save years of research by
collecting a sufficient amount of a rare unstable form
of DHMO from the environment to use in my research.  
This form of DHMO is only found in specific places.  
It is present in the exhaust of Porche cars, the
boundary layer between an olive and Russian Vodka, and
the boundary layer between silk and the epidermis of
young female Homo sapiens.  It has also been detected
in the waters off of the coast of southern France.  
Since this type of DHMO exists in such small
quantities, this painful collection effort is expected
to take 15 to 20 months, not counting the recuperation
trips to spas in Switzerland.

I am making a desperate appeal to your worthy
organization to help me raise the $500,000 that I need
to continue this quest. I must pursue this.  I will
not rest until Anhydrous Dihydrogen Monoxide replaces
DHMO.  It's for the children!

Many thanks for your help in this endeavor.

Thomas Morton, Ph.D.
tmorton@flash.net


-------------------------------------------------------
  Support the cause... tell a friend about DHMO.org!
-------------------------------------------------------
Tom Way
Director of Research
DHMO.org - Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division
email: dhmo@dhmo.org    web: http://www.dhmo.org
-------------------------------------------------------